[align=center][div style="0px; width:450px; height:auto; text-align: justify; font-size: 9pt; line-height:13px;"]BRIAN: Are you looking for a new bed? Well, you're in luck because I have one. And I want to sell it to you. Please buy my bed. Nothing bad has ever happened on it. It's a beautiful twin bed with a brushed metal frame. Ain't nothin' bad ever happened on this bed! Do you like to sleep? I do too! But not on this bed anymore, 'cuz I want you to have it! Please buy my bed! (Just buy my bed!) Ain't nothin' bad ever happened on this bed! I'm talkin' no felonies! Sex? On this bed? Never heard of it! What is it? No one has ever explained it to me. (Please buy my bed!) Hey, psst. You like this bed? Well guess what? I got two of 'em! 'Cuza.. circumstances! Stack 'em on top of your old bed, i'm like the freakin' princess and the pea up here 'cept the only thing keepin' me up at night is that I got two beds I can't sell! (Just buy my bed.) Hey Laura, are these good beds?
LAURA: They're good beds.
BRIAN: Ain't nothin' bad. Ever happened on it. Laura keeps askin' for these beds 'cuz they such good beds but I don't let her near beds anymore because...
LAURA: I like to smoke cigars on beds!
BRIAN: [Fake snore.] Buy my beeeed! 'Ey, look man, I ain't never showed this to anybody before, but I got this weird birthmark and it spells out somethin' that I didn't realize was important until right now. .. Sandra.
(Buy my beeeed!)
I need this bed outta my house by Tuesday. Because on Tuesday i'm havin' a potluck. And I can't have people comin' to my potluck wondering why the hell there's two BEDS against the wall! Can you imagine the questions?!
LAURA: ... Hey, uh, why do you have two beds?
BRIAN: HOW EMBARRASSING! Buy my beeeeee-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eheh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eeeeeeeeeed!
LAURA: It's just a greenscreen, ain't nothin' bad ever happened on these beds!
BRIAN: Peeewww, pfwuh. Buy my beeeed. Please.
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