11-04-2019, 10:31 PM
[align=center][div style="width: 350px; text-align: justify; font-family: verdana; font-size: 7pt; letter-spacing: 1.2px; word-spacing: 0px; line-height: 12px; color: #000"] Locks of blond fell into the sink, clump by clump. Franklin's pale gaze stared at himself in the mirror. The haircut was messy and half-complete, but he was truly resolute in the reclamation of his own life. Never had Frank felt so ashamed; he'd truly lost himself, relied a little too much on others for his own source of happiness. And, he was done being the good Stirling. The nice Stirling. The one who let people walk right over him like a fucking doormat and straight into his heart, only to stamp all over it and leave again.
He'd experienced it one too many times - it was a surprise he hadn't learned his lesson sooner. Breaking up with Roman Darrow had been one of the worst things he'd experienced. And perhaps it sounded dramatic, perhaps Frank sounded like the woeful hopeless romantic, but his trust had been betrayed by one of the only people he had ever loved. He felt inadequate for the longest of times, insecure in who he was as a person.
If he knew to be strong on his own, then maybe this would've been easier for him. He'd been through so much worse. He'd watched men fall by his own hand, he'd watched his own mother die in front of his eyes, and then his father, and then his brother. Hell, he squeezed Dominik's hand as the life left his older brother's eyes, but all that loss was permanent. The pain was extraordinary, but Frank had closure.
Frank and Roman were unfinished business. And maybe they'd be unfinished business forever. Forever Frank would see himself as the man foolish enough to let Roman screw him over and crush his heart.
Perhaps he couldn't make his anger look beautiful, or his hurt seem so sweet, but there was another way for him to move on and start his healing. He had nearly healed all but his shame. Shame for ever letting somebody affect his life so much, shame for ever letting him hurt his heart and make it feel so fragile.
Frank was not going to let others be in control of his life anymore. That was for him to grasp onto and take control of. When Frank let go of all of that hurt and all of the secrets, that was when he was in control. Everything he ever had plaguing his mind, threatening to spill passed lips that wanted to hold onto keen words... Frank wanted the world to know him. He no longer wanted to hide who he was away in a little black box under the bed. He was in control now.
He wanted to come out to his family and friends.
It'd been on his mind for a while. Hell, he even told Roman that he'd come out to his friends and family in order for them to be happy and open together. But, the more that Frank thought about it, the more he began to realize that that wasn't true. His relationship status never had affect on whether he should come out or not. It'd just been an attempt to seek support. Reassurance.
Maybe even validation.
But, why did he need validation for who he was? He didn't need anyone else to inspire him to do anything; all he needed was himself in control of his life. And so, Frank was going to do this, not for anyone else but for himself.
He finally lowered the scissors, gazing into the mirror to look at the finished product. His hair was short. He looked different. Felt different. He felt determined to heal and finally be in control of himself. Maybe, this was the beginning of a beautiful journey.
He sat on the armrest of the sofa, eyes searching the crackling flames in the fireplace as he conversed with himself in his head. Answered all potential questions in his mind. Prepared himself for any backlash or mockery. His family were harsh and jagged people, minds tainted by Alfred the Traditionalist. But, Alfred was dead now, with nobody to uphold the laws of the family anymore. It was a new start. He was in control of his life for the very first time.
Gaze shifted over to look at William who was cozy by the fireplace, rubbing his hands together and uttering to nobody in particular about how these Flintlockers were crazy for living up at the top of a mountain. Frank released a short, sharp huff through his nostrils before lowering his gaze.
He was in control. After all that he promised Roman, Frank realized that he didn't need the other man around for him to know his self-worth, nor for him to realize that he didn't need to come out for Roman, but he needed to come out for Frank fucking Stirling-Moray. Frank thought that that'd be the case with Roman, but now all Frank thought about was the hope that Roman couldn't sleep with the guilt of what he did to him.
Maybe the lies would keep Roman up at night. It was unlikely - he seemed happier in another's arms - but it'd still keep Frank silently wondering. Call Frank mean and loathsome for his thoughts, but it was all part of his healing. And, the spite urged him to push aside his fear, evident in his bouncing knee and wringing hands. There was a silence which fell across the room. Frank sucked in a sharp breath.
He didn't need anybody else's validation. He didn't need Roman. He only needed to accept himself.
❝ I'm, uh- ❞ Frank paused, noticing as the people in the room looked over towards him, attracted to the only voice in the room at that moment.
His tongue felt twisted, and his mind felt an ounce of doubt. Maybe this wasn't a good idea. He bunched his brows together, looking down at his hands.
❝ I just wanted to tell you guys that I'm gay. ❞
In that moment, his chest felt lighter. The dark plague of denial had finally dissolved, and the weight had been lifted off of his shoulders.
There was a silence which fell upon the room, Frank's heart jumping at the thought that maybe his family wasn't accepting of the news. But then, that was until Alfie piped in, ❝ Is that why you chopped your hair off? ❞
❝ Jesus Christ, Alfie. Shut the hell up. ❞ Peter growled quietly, shaking his head with disappointment at the somewhat insensitive comment. Frank flitted his gaze between his older brother and cousin before glancing at Ed whose gaze also moved away from the other two and instead at Frank.
❝ Nah, nah mate. He don't mean it like that. ❞ Tommy sighed, gesturing towards Alfie before wandering over to Frank and pulling him into a hug from the side. Frank rested the side of his head against Tommy, fluttering his eyes shut. ❝ Thanks for letting us know, brother. No one here's looking at you any differently; you're good with us. All right? ❞
The tiniest of smiles found itself on Frank's lips, sinking into the hug as Alfie added, ❝ I'm sorry, man. I was just kidding. Very poor taste. ❞ Tom finally took a step back, Frank sitting up straight and peering over to Alfie just as the older brother leaned over to pat his back. ❝ Who cares about what you're into, I guess, hey? We love you, man. Remember that always. ❞ Frank swallowed hard, releasing a short huff of laughter as a wavering smile, though subtle and small, pulled at his lips.
❝ What is ❛gay❜? ❞ Ida questioned curiously from where she sat on the ground, tilting her head at Frank. Frank sighed with amusement, glancing over at Ed to see the corner of the youngest brother's lip curled upwards.
❝ It means I like boys, Ida. ❞ He explained carefully in a way that'd be the most easily understood for a girl of her age. Ida smiled a wide, closed lip smile before nodding and returning to playing with her toys.
❝ It's okay, Frankie. I also like boys, even if they're stupid sometimes. ❞ She giggled to herself, Frank shaking his head slowly as his brothers chuckled.
❝ They are stupid sometimes, aren't they? ❞
// so, frank has finally chosen to come out as gay to everyone in flintlock !! this thread is open for replies, but ofc don't feel like you need to match the word count whatsoever ahfdgfjhgljkl just so proud of my boy for gathering the courage to do this :')
[div style="width: 350px; text-align: center; font-family: verdana; font-size: 6pt; letter-spacing: 1.2px; word-spacing: 0px; line-height: 12px; color: #000"]|| T.S.M. || A.S.M. || F.S.M. || E.M. || H.S. || I.S. ||
He'd experienced it one too many times - it was a surprise he hadn't learned his lesson sooner. Breaking up with Roman Darrow had been one of the worst things he'd experienced. And perhaps it sounded dramatic, perhaps Frank sounded like the woeful hopeless romantic, but his trust had been betrayed by one of the only people he had ever loved. He felt inadequate for the longest of times, insecure in who he was as a person.
If he knew to be strong on his own, then maybe this would've been easier for him. He'd been through so much worse. He'd watched men fall by his own hand, he'd watched his own mother die in front of his eyes, and then his father, and then his brother. Hell, he squeezed Dominik's hand as the life left his older brother's eyes, but all that loss was permanent. The pain was extraordinary, but Frank had closure.
Frank and Roman were unfinished business. And maybe they'd be unfinished business forever. Forever Frank would see himself as the man foolish enough to let Roman screw him over and crush his heart.
Perhaps he couldn't make his anger look beautiful, or his hurt seem so sweet, but there was another way for him to move on and start his healing. He had nearly healed all but his shame. Shame for ever letting somebody affect his life so much, shame for ever letting him hurt his heart and make it feel so fragile.
Frank was not going to let others be in control of his life anymore. That was for him to grasp onto and take control of. When Frank let go of all of that hurt and all of the secrets, that was when he was in control. Everything he ever had plaguing his mind, threatening to spill passed lips that wanted to hold onto keen words... Frank wanted the world to know him. He no longer wanted to hide who he was away in a little black box under the bed. He was in control now.
He wanted to come out to his family and friends.
It'd been on his mind for a while. Hell, he even told Roman that he'd come out to his friends and family in order for them to be happy and open together. But, the more that Frank thought about it, the more he began to realize that that wasn't true. His relationship status never had affect on whether he should come out or not. It'd just been an attempt to seek support. Reassurance.
Maybe even validation.
But, why did he need validation for who he was? He didn't need anyone else to inspire him to do anything; all he needed was himself in control of his life. And so, Frank was going to do this, not for anyone else but for himself.
He finally lowered the scissors, gazing into the mirror to look at the finished product. His hair was short. He looked different. Felt different. He felt determined to heal and finally be in control of himself. Maybe, this was the beginning of a beautiful journey.
He sat on the armrest of the sofa, eyes searching the crackling flames in the fireplace as he conversed with himself in his head. Answered all potential questions in his mind. Prepared himself for any backlash or mockery. His family were harsh and jagged people, minds tainted by Alfred the Traditionalist. But, Alfred was dead now, with nobody to uphold the laws of the family anymore. It was a new start. He was in control of his life for the very first time.
Gaze shifted over to look at William who was cozy by the fireplace, rubbing his hands together and uttering to nobody in particular about how these Flintlockers were crazy for living up at the top of a mountain. Frank released a short, sharp huff through his nostrils before lowering his gaze.
He was in control. After all that he promised Roman, Frank realized that he didn't need the other man around for him to know his self-worth, nor for him to realize that he didn't need to come out for Roman, but he needed to come out for Frank fucking Stirling-Moray. Frank thought that that'd be the case with Roman, but now all Frank thought about was the hope that Roman couldn't sleep with the guilt of what he did to him.
Maybe the lies would keep Roman up at night. It was unlikely - he seemed happier in another's arms - but it'd still keep Frank silently wondering. Call Frank mean and loathsome for his thoughts, but it was all part of his healing. And, the spite urged him to push aside his fear, evident in his bouncing knee and wringing hands. There was a silence which fell across the room. Frank sucked in a sharp breath.
He didn't need anybody else's validation. He didn't need Roman. He only needed to accept himself.
❝ I'm, uh- ❞ Frank paused, noticing as the people in the room looked over towards him, attracted to the only voice in the room at that moment.
His tongue felt twisted, and his mind felt an ounce of doubt. Maybe this wasn't a good idea. He bunched his brows together, looking down at his hands.
❝ I just wanted to tell you guys that I'm gay. ❞
In that moment, his chest felt lighter. The dark plague of denial had finally dissolved, and the weight had been lifted off of his shoulders.
There was a silence which fell upon the room, Frank's heart jumping at the thought that maybe his family wasn't accepting of the news. But then, that was until Alfie piped in, ❝ Is that why you chopped your hair off? ❞
❝ Jesus Christ, Alfie. Shut the hell up. ❞ Peter growled quietly, shaking his head with disappointment at the somewhat insensitive comment. Frank flitted his gaze between his older brother and cousin before glancing at Ed whose gaze also moved away from the other two and instead at Frank.
❝ Nah, nah mate. He don't mean it like that. ❞ Tommy sighed, gesturing towards Alfie before wandering over to Frank and pulling him into a hug from the side. Frank rested the side of his head against Tommy, fluttering his eyes shut. ❝ Thanks for letting us know, brother. No one here's looking at you any differently; you're good with us. All right? ❞
The tiniest of smiles found itself on Frank's lips, sinking into the hug as Alfie added, ❝ I'm sorry, man. I was just kidding. Very poor taste. ❞ Tom finally took a step back, Frank sitting up straight and peering over to Alfie just as the older brother leaned over to pat his back. ❝ Who cares about what you're into, I guess, hey? We love you, man. Remember that always. ❞ Frank swallowed hard, releasing a short huff of laughter as a wavering smile, though subtle and small, pulled at his lips.
❝ What is ❛gay❜? ❞ Ida questioned curiously from where she sat on the ground, tilting her head at Frank. Frank sighed with amusement, glancing over at Ed to see the corner of the youngest brother's lip curled upwards.
❝ It means I like boys, Ida. ❞ He explained carefully in a way that'd be the most easily understood for a girl of her age. Ida smiled a wide, closed lip smile before nodding and returning to playing with her toys.
❝ It's okay, Frankie. I also like boys, even if they're stupid sometimes. ❞ She giggled to herself, Frank shaking his head slowly as his brothers chuckled.
❝ They are stupid sometimes, aren't they? ❞
// so, frank has finally chosen to come out as gay to everyone in flintlock !! this thread is open for replies, but ofc don't feel like you need to match the word count whatsoever ahfdgfjhgljkl just so proud of my boy for gathering the courage to do this :')
[div style="width: 350px; text-align: center; font-family: verdana; font-size: 6pt; letter-spacing: 1.2px; word-spacing: 0px; line-height: 12px; color: #000"]|| T.S.M. || A.S.M. || F.S.M. || E.M. || H.S. || I.S. ||
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I CAN'T HELP MYSELF THE MOMENT THAT I LET IT GO
[sup]IS WHEN I FIND I'M IN CONTROL, I'M IN CONTROL.
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