04-25-2019, 05:24 PM
 tw. implied abuse, drug use
"I shall never speak of it to anyone."
"Is that sentimentalism talking?"
"No. It's me talking."
"... Oh, don't be silly now, Louie... Please. Talk to me..."
Silence.
"... You're afraid, aren't you?"
A sharp inhalation.
Cornelius stared across the room at him, shoulders slouched as he leaned forwards, fingers laced between one another, as his chilling blue gaze watched his little brother frozen.
There were often times Lucerne was still, unmoving, yet only two things could trigger such gesture. When he was in a deep contemplation was one of those times, often the case as being still erased the subconscious desire to think about his next movements. Instead, he could clear his mind, brush aside what the menial things and focus on the task at hand; when he was still like this, he was in the zone.
Rare occasions, however, he was stilled by emotion. Intense anxiety froze him like a deer staring into car headlights, dreadfully exposed. Fear left his soul rattling, being still and outwardly composed being the most soothing cure to his internal trembling. A man who'd malfunction to the point of going silent, going still. He had a lot more emotion bottled in within him than he'd let on. He had the reputation among others as the Ice Man, a man who could not feel as he had no heart to feel with. In some aspects, it was true. He didn't feel for the most part, but it did not mean he had no emotions. He simply chose to disregard them. After all, it was easier to not allow sentiment to cloud his judgement. That was dangerous.
But, handling emotion in such an exact manner was a delicate balance. From time to time, Lucerne would feel himself slip. After all, he was by no means a perfect man.
Tipping his head to the side, Cornelius watched. He had never been one for expressing emotion either. It had been a product of their childhood - the less emotion they showed, the less they'd hurt when they'd be thoroughly disappointed with the cruel world they'd been brought up in. Lucerne would always be naive to the fact that Cornelius cared for him deeply. A big brother who'd silently promised himself to take on an almost paternal role to make up for the lack of a decent father in the household. All they had was Wilhelm Nouvel, a man so unforgiving and vile that his mere presence was enough to make the brothers tremble.
"You're afraid." Cornelius repeated once more, probing into Lucerne's soul to find the source of his stillness. But all Lucerne could do was sit with narrowed eyes, chin resting on the palm of one hand and his fingers drumming against his knee in thought. He'd not speak to his brother for several moments ( by several, it was precisely another two minutes and eleven seconds ) before he straightened up, clearing his throat and finally pointing out. "I got a phone call from our father today."
"And what did he say?"
Lucerne tipped his head to the side, scoffing at the question before returning sharply, "Oh, come on. Use your imagination, Cornelius." The older brother grew silent once again, pursed lips as he realized exactly what this meant. Lucerne's eyes were piercing as they watched Cornelius. He was trying not to cry. All the older man could do was slowly release a breath, realizing he'd pushed Lucerne too far, before turning his head away to look out of the window. Silence. And then - "I'll be there for you, you know?" Lucerne frowned in silence, watching as Cornelius turned his head to look back at him. "I'll always be there for you."
They'd always had a seemingly difficult relationship. Two men so cold and aloof - they ought to never get on. But a glimmer in Cornelius' gaze as he peered over at Lucerne's trembling hands told an entirely different story. This was his baby brother. When he looked over at the arrogant and defiant man, all he could see was a lost, little boy. Terrified in a world that was full of pain. They had more in common than Lucerne liked to believe, yet Lucerne would always live up to his reputation. He didn't [i]need Cornelius. He was better off on his own.[/i]
Oh, how wrong Lucerne was to truly believe that he could be okay on his own.
Eyebrows furrowed, Lucerne sat on a small boulder, watching carefully as the waves rolled up onto the shore. Cornelius had once said he'd always be there for him, but where was he now? Lucerne swallowed hard, shifty eyes flitting about as he was still, hands clasped together, lips pressed against his thumbs in contemplation. Lucerne had killed a man. He'd sworn to never to such a thing. That was somebody's son, somebody's best friend, somebody's father and somebody's lover. That man intended to tear Lucerne's life apart, kill the only one who mattered to him, but never could Lucerne be so cruel as to do the same thing in return. But, of course, he'd do anything for Addy, even if it meant surrendering his morals to murder.
He ran his tongue across his top teeth, nose shriveling up, before he straightened and scratched through his pocket. A rustle. And then, he pulled out a small reddish pill, mindlessly dropping it in his mouth. Morphine, to numb the pain. Never had he intended to be so cruel to another. He didn't want to hurt people. He didn't want to be like his father. Hands returned slowly to his lap, waiting for the pain to end, sat in quiet contemplation.
[ this is a rambling mess. the only semi-important paragraphs are the last two. basically lucerne is just sat on the beach thinking about how he killed that man who hurt addy earlier this month and the boy's not taking it well ]
[align=center][div style="width: 400px; text-align: justify; font-family:raleway; font-size: 12px;"][spoiler=tags :: updated 4/15]basics.
⫸ wilhelm lucerne nouvel // no known nicknames
⫸ goes by his middle name, lucerne
⫸ male // he/him
⫸ thirty three // ages real time // born fourteenth february
⫸ medic for the badlands // formerly a loner
⫸ joined BL - twenty first february
appearance.
⫸ faceclaim - benedict cumberbatch
⫸ voice claim - benedict cumberbatch
⫸ speaks with a received pronunciation british accent
⫸ 6'2ft // tall and lithe // very little muscle mass
⫸ cold, china blue eyes and disheveled, dark brunet hair
⫸ physical health - 100%
 current injuries: none as of now
⫸ mental health - 70%
 has been showing signs of major depressive disorder
personality.
⫸ enigmatic and difficult to understand
⫸ astute and intellectual // generally very logical in his way of thinking
⫸ self-absorbed and overly prideful // massive god complex
⫸ lack of empathy and often insincere // evident sociopathic tendencies
⫸ assertive, blunt and arrogant // strong, unwavering opinions
⫸ analytical and perceptive // often good at figuring things out at breakneck speed
⫸ overly motivated and stubborn // it's often his way or the highway
⫸ chronic boredom, often acts out childishly based on this
⫸ fastidious and a known perfectionist
⫸ unpredictable and notably unhinged // makes it difficult to get on with him
⫸ a total narcissist in many ways
⫸ aloof and incredibly socially awkward // very antisocial in general
⫸ a complete drama queen // incredibly theatrical and melodramatic
⫸ breathes sarcasm // snide and often witty with his quips
⫸ silently a very sensitive and introverted soul // worries about what others think
⫸ self-conscious towards how people react towards him // this makes him withdrawn
relationships.
⫸ wilhelm nouvel x annette nouvel // one older brother [deceased]
⫸ aromantic asexual // not interested in any romance
⫸ has taken a liking towards addy douglas
 sees him as his person
 doesn't view their relationship as romantic
 loyalty lies with him entirely
interaction.
⫸ storage // plot
⫸ physically: medium // mentally: hard
⫸ owns a pistol but finds the idea of injuring somebody very difficult
⫸ dislikes getting into physical fights as he's not very good at fighting
⫸ would much rather die than kill somebody else
⫸ will be acting out of character as he is still grieving over the loss of his brother
⫸ TW. he is an active drug addict // cocaine, heroin and opioids such as morphine
 some interactions with him may be whilst he is under the influence of said drugs
[/spoiler]
"I shall never speak of it to anyone."
"Is that sentimentalism talking?"
"No. It's me talking."
"... Oh, don't be silly now, Louie... Please. Talk to me..."
Silence.
"... You're afraid, aren't you?"
A sharp inhalation.
Cornelius stared across the room at him, shoulders slouched as he leaned forwards, fingers laced between one another, as his chilling blue gaze watched his little brother frozen.
There were often times Lucerne was still, unmoving, yet only two things could trigger such gesture. When he was in a deep contemplation was one of those times, often the case as being still erased the subconscious desire to think about his next movements. Instead, he could clear his mind, brush aside what the menial things and focus on the task at hand; when he was still like this, he was in the zone.
Rare occasions, however, he was stilled by emotion. Intense anxiety froze him like a deer staring into car headlights, dreadfully exposed. Fear left his soul rattling, being still and outwardly composed being the most soothing cure to his internal trembling. A man who'd malfunction to the point of going silent, going still. He had a lot more emotion bottled in within him than he'd let on. He had the reputation among others as the Ice Man, a man who could not feel as he had no heart to feel with. In some aspects, it was true. He didn't feel for the most part, but it did not mean he had no emotions. He simply chose to disregard them. After all, it was easier to not allow sentiment to cloud his judgement. That was dangerous.
But, handling emotion in such an exact manner was a delicate balance. From time to time, Lucerne would feel himself slip. After all, he was by no means a perfect man.
Tipping his head to the side, Cornelius watched. He had never been one for expressing emotion either. It had been a product of their childhood - the less emotion they showed, the less they'd hurt when they'd be thoroughly disappointed with the cruel world they'd been brought up in. Lucerne would always be naive to the fact that Cornelius cared for him deeply. A big brother who'd silently promised himself to take on an almost paternal role to make up for the lack of a decent father in the household. All they had was Wilhelm Nouvel, a man so unforgiving and vile that his mere presence was enough to make the brothers tremble.
"You're afraid." Cornelius repeated once more, probing into Lucerne's soul to find the source of his stillness. But all Lucerne could do was sit with narrowed eyes, chin resting on the palm of one hand and his fingers drumming against his knee in thought. He'd not speak to his brother for several moments ( by several, it was precisely another two minutes and eleven seconds ) before he straightened up, clearing his throat and finally pointing out. "I got a phone call from our father today."
"And what did he say?"
Lucerne tipped his head to the side, scoffing at the question before returning sharply, "Oh, come on. Use your imagination, Cornelius." The older brother grew silent once again, pursed lips as he realized exactly what this meant. Lucerne's eyes were piercing as they watched Cornelius. He was trying not to cry. All the older man could do was slowly release a breath, realizing he'd pushed Lucerne too far, before turning his head away to look out of the window. Silence. And then - "I'll be there for you, you know?" Lucerne frowned in silence, watching as Cornelius turned his head to look back at him. "I'll always be there for you."
They'd always had a seemingly difficult relationship. Two men so cold and aloof - they ought to never get on. But a glimmer in Cornelius' gaze as he peered over at Lucerne's trembling hands told an entirely different story. This was his baby brother. When he looked over at the arrogant and defiant man, all he could see was a lost, little boy. Terrified in a world that was full of pain. They had more in common than Lucerne liked to believe, yet Lucerne would always live up to his reputation. He didn't [i]need Cornelius. He was better off on his own.[/i]
Oh, how wrong Lucerne was to truly believe that he could be okay on his own.
Eyebrows furrowed, Lucerne sat on a small boulder, watching carefully as the waves rolled up onto the shore. Cornelius had once said he'd always be there for him, but where was he now? Lucerne swallowed hard, shifty eyes flitting about as he was still, hands clasped together, lips pressed against his thumbs in contemplation. Lucerne had killed a man. He'd sworn to never to such a thing. That was somebody's son, somebody's best friend, somebody's father and somebody's lover. That man intended to tear Lucerne's life apart, kill the only one who mattered to him, but never could Lucerne be so cruel as to do the same thing in return. But, of course, he'd do anything for Addy, even if it meant surrendering his morals to murder.
He ran his tongue across his top teeth, nose shriveling up, before he straightened and scratched through his pocket. A rustle. And then, he pulled out a small reddish pill, mindlessly dropping it in his mouth. Morphine, to numb the pain. Never had he intended to be so cruel to another. He didn't want to hurt people. He didn't want to be like his father. Hands returned slowly to his lap, waiting for the pain to end, sat in quiet contemplation.
[ this is a rambling mess. the only semi-important paragraphs are the last two. basically lucerne is just sat on the beach thinking about how he killed that man who hurt addy earlier this month and the boy's not taking it well ]
[align=center][div style="width: 400px; text-align: justify; font-family:raleway; font-size: 12px;"][spoiler=tags :: updated 4/15]basics.
⫸ wilhelm lucerne nouvel // no known nicknames
⫸ goes by his middle name, lucerne
⫸ male // he/him
⫸ thirty three // ages real time // born fourteenth february
⫸ medic for the badlands // formerly a loner
⫸ joined BL - twenty first february
appearance.
⫸ faceclaim - benedict cumberbatch
⫸ voice claim - benedict cumberbatch
⫸ speaks with a received pronunciation british accent
⫸ 6'2ft // tall and lithe // very little muscle mass
⫸ cold, china blue eyes and disheveled, dark brunet hair
⫸ physical health - 100%
 current injuries: none as of now
⫸ mental health - 70%
 has been showing signs of major depressive disorder
personality.
⫸ enigmatic and difficult to understand
⫸ astute and intellectual // generally very logical in his way of thinking
⫸ self-absorbed and overly prideful // massive god complex
⫸ lack of empathy and often insincere // evident sociopathic tendencies
⫸ assertive, blunt and arrogant // strong, unwavering opinions
⫸ analytical and perceptive // often good at figuring things out at breakneck speed
⫸ overly motivated and stubborn // it's often his way or the highway
⫸ chronic boredom, often acts out childishly based on this
⫸ fastidious and a known perfectionist
⫸ unpredictable and notably unhinged // makes it difficult to get on with him
⫸ a total narcissist in many ways
⫸ aloof and incredibly socially awkward // very antisocial in general
⫸ a complete drama queen // incredibly theatrical and melodramatic
⫸ breathes sarcasm // snide and often witty with his quips
⫸ silently a very sensitive and introverted soul // worries about what others think
⫸ self-conscious towards how people react towards him // this makes him withdrawn
relationships.
⫸ wilhelm nouvel x annette nouvel // one older brother [deceased]
⫸ aromantic asexual // not interested in any romance
⫸ has taken a liking towards addy douglas
 sees him as his person
 doesn't view their relationship as romantic
 loyalty lies with him entirely
interaction.
⫸ storage // plot
⫸ physically: medium // mentally: hard
⫸ owns a pistol but finds the idea of injuring somebody very difficult
⫸ dislikes getting into physical fights as he's not very good at fighting
⫸ would much rather die than kill somebody else
⫸ will be acting out of character as he is still grieving over the loss of his brother
⫸ TW. he is an active drug addict // cocaine, heroin and opioids such as morphine
 some interactions with him may be whilst he is under the influence of said drugs
[/spoiler]
[align=center]
I'LL USE YOU AS A WARNING SIGN
[div style="width: 400px; font-family: georgia; text-align: center; font-size: 6pt; line-height: 1; letter-spacing: 1.1px; word-spacing: 0px; margin-bottom: 5px;"]THAT IF YOU TALK ENOUGH SENSE THEN YOU'LL LOSE YOUR MIND
I'LL USE YOU AS A WARNING SIGN
[div style="width: 400px; font-family: georgia; text-align: center; font-size: 6pt; line-height: 1; letter-spacing: 1.1px; word-spacing: 0px; margin-bottom: 5px;"]THAT IF YOU TALK ENOUGH SENSE THEN YOU'LL LOSE YOUR MIND