[ on another page - harrison's journal ]

[harrison.]

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— okay so i'm going to have harrison make a couple journal entries just to kinda write about his progress in fl and also as like a heartchart but without all the effort/coding. tracks and comments and everything are welcome af but who knows how long i'll stick with this.
love y'all sm

[truce.]

track!!! excited to see the precious mans

[harrison.]

[align=center][div style="background=transparent; borderwidth=0px; bordercolor=; width: 420px; font-size: 8pt; line-height: 125%; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; color: black"]4/25/2039

nothing really eventful has happened in my life for years up until now.there’s so much more going on here than i can keep up with! i guess i’m just not used to being in someone else’s company, let alone a whole group. it’s nice, though. it gives me so much more to write about; maybe it’ll be nice to jot down some things from time to time.

clover is fitting in. she loves everybody, and i feel like she’s met more people than i have. she’s a sweet girl, and i hope everybody eventually sees that. i know that she’s so happy, here. it makes me happier than anything to see her finally getting to run about without a care in the world. it’s exactly what i had wanted for her when i came to the lodge.  : )

the last thing i had expected when i came here was to see ellie again… i feel so guilty for harboring such negative feelings towards her over these years. if i had known what she’d known, if she had known what i’d known, our lives would’ve been so different… there’s still parts of the story that i haven’t gotten from her, yet - and i’m still confused about the changes in her life, but i feel like we’re slowly getting back to normal. it’s almost like how it was when it was just us against the world. i missed her so much…

all of her friends are very unique. while i haven’t really gotten to meet them that much, yet, i have to say that the ones i have met are so interesting. it feels like there’s never a dull moment around here with these people. gosh, i don’t know if i’ll ever get around to remembering everybody’s names, but i can definitely try! so far i’ve seen a bit of eddie, brendan, daniel, and hayley.. they all mean well, even while some of them are kind of rough around the edges. so i think that my time at the lodge will be time well-spent.

and me? i’m loving the lodge. i feel like everybody here means well, and there’s plenty of things to do. most of my time is spent fishing, especially since it seems like there’s a bit of a food shortage going on… anything i can do to help works, and i bet that it’s much appreciated. it’s really the least that i could do for all these wonderful people. i just want to do my part, show hayley that i’m not here just to take up space. last thing i want is to not prove my worth… it takes some getting used to, having to fend for others besides myself and clover, but i’m working on it. working with a team is better than being on your own, that’s for sure.

this week has been so busy, and i’m sure i’m missing out on something, but if i think of it i’ll come back to you. until then, i'll keep this short and sweet, and also be trying to get to know everybody a bit better.


- harrison rose

[harrison.]

[align=center][div style="background=transparent; borderwidth=0px; bordercolor=; width: 420px; font-size: 8pt; line-height: 125%; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; color: black"]5/9/2039

journal, i actually have some good news to start this off. at the recent meeting, i was promoted to representative! isn’t that exciting? i mean, i don’t think i really do much different than what i’ve been doing, but it still makes me feel excited. it makes me feel like i belong here. maybe i do belong here. it’s just hard to believe sometimes that all this is real. maybe it is all too good to be true. this could be like the last group i met, right? just. there have been too many times where i think about the past. so many people who i once trusted have ended up hurting me. sometimes i wonder how this place could be any different, you know? maybe it’s just me overthinking. again.

here i am thinking this, while i have brought so much baggage to flintlock. i feel like me being here has only made things worse. ellie at the meeting… i feel like she wouldn’t have reacted that kind of way if i hadn’t come here. is it better that she knows now, or did i only cause more trouble than anything? i don’t even know the story between her and mickey. maybe there’s more to the story than even i know. i don’t know. at this point, i’m going to have to trust ellie. she’s my sister. that, and she seems to know more about it than i do. of course i’ll trust her on this. i think it’s best if i stay away from mickey for a little while all of this dies down. it’s for the best, i think.

i’m still trying to get to know everybody, here- however, with everything happening, i’m not sure how to approach people without being scared that they’ll turn on me like the last group i was in. bad things seem to happen wherever i go; i don’t want people blaming me. i don’t want to leave this place so soon. i love these people so much; clover loves these people so much. hopefully it’ll all blow over soon.

in the meantime, i’ll just try and work on making it a brighter place. perhaps there can be some good to come out of this, even if the situation is rather bleak right now. i hope so.

-  harrison rose