the angel's journal / naisanna floros

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[align=center][div style="borderwidth=0px; width: 500px; text-align: justify; font-size: 8.8pt; color:#000"]THE ANGEL'S JOURNAL
using your hand to push a path through the rows of cornstalk, a small object buried in the dirt catches your eye. it is hard to discern what the object is in the evening sun; the colorful light on the horizon piercing into your eyes. for a moment, you continue walking, but the object in the dirt steals your attention. you bend down, knees cracking as you settle into a squat. reaching towards the ground, you brush the dirt away with your hand, now recognizing the object as an old moleskine journal. you pick it up, squinting in an attempt to read the faded letters imprinted on the cover. naisanna floros, it reads. with careful fingers, you open the journal, curious as to the contents inside...

this is a private journal for my newest character, naisa floros. any date before march of 2038 is considered to be part of her past. for full viewing pleasure, please download this font.

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[align=center][div style="borderwidth=0px; width: 500px; text-align: justify; font-size:14px; color:#000"][gfont=indie flower][color=#796878][size=14][b]Month DAY, 20XX[/b][/size][/color]
[size=14px]Salutations, Diary!

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[align=center][div style="borderwidth=0px; width: 500px; text-align: justify; font-size:14px; color:#000"][gfont=indie flower]June 9, 2035 – [ tw for mention of physical and sexual abuse ]
[size=14px] I know I usually say hello in a more pleasant tone, which SHOULD be easy considering it's my birthday, but I don't know – I'm just not really feeling like myself. Like I said, today was my birthday – well technically it still is because I think it's still well before gloom, but at this point, the sky is so cloudy that it is hard to tell. Anyways, today is my birthday, and Daddy had promised to bring home a calf for dinner. I'm not going to lie, as much as the thought of killing the poor calf horrified me, the thought of a warm dinner helped me choke back the feelings. I know that it isn't right to kill animals, I've never really felt ok with it, but Daddy always says we do it to survive, and I wouldn't dare argue with him about things regarding survival. I mean, we all want to survive, right?

He left as soon as it was light this morning, and the day seemed to go on and on without him here. He said he would be back before sunset which reduced my anxiety about him being gone for so long. But 13 is a big birthday, so he trusted that I'd be ok on my own, at least for the day. But the light came and went, and it was well after sunset when he came back. But... he didn't come home with a calf. There wasn't any dinner for me.

There was only a woman.

Daddy used a word with me once to describe the women he brings home: pity, I think. I don't really know what it means, but he always says he pities the women. He says they have mean husbands who don't love them properly and since he has so much love, he gives some love to them. He says he loves them just like he loves me. But tonight, on my birthday, it didn't sound like the usual love he gives to the women. There was lots of yelling, and a pound on the wall. I think the woman left. I can't remember. And after that, Daddy came in to tell me goodnight, but instead told me the lady didn't love him enough, and that he would love me instead. He did.

I think I'll sleep in the barn tonight. I don't know if I want Daddy to love me anymore.

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[align=center][div style="borderwidth=0px; width: 500px; text-align: justify; font-size:14px; color:#000"][gfont=indie flower]June 11, 2035
[size=14px]I haven't had the time to write much since my birthday, but I think I have enough time at the moment to jot a little bit of something down. Long story short, I ran away from home! It was terribly frightening, and I honestly don't know what was going through my head when I came up with my plan. But, I'm gone. I suppose that's what matters? I don't think Daddy is going to come looking for me. To be honest, I don't really care that he isn't. There is something wonderful about being free. I think I might not go back home for a long while. Yeah, I won't. I'm tired now. Goodnight.