// ooc: in which your character comes across K having an anxiety attack//
t
[table] |
text | KAVINSKY ;; bloodclan ;; he/him |
[/table]
Kavinsky walked down the pale path through the rose gardens, not really in his head or looking at them. There were scars up his sides from his first day here when he came across Lynch and he'd attacked K for the things he'd done when they were both human. The lines up and down his sides were nearly healed, but his muscles were sore and the scratches stung.
He made his way to the edge of the gardens, sitting down. He could feel his legs shaking. He tried to push out the nagging feeling that he should really be dead, but the only reason he was here right now was because he'd died, and now through some kind of timefuckery magic he was alive and remembered everything. Every detail. Prokopenko dying. Bringing Prokopenko back. Killing Prokopenko. Bringing him back again. Fighting Ronan. Teaching him to dream. Watching him convulse as K's dream drugs did their work. Kidnapping Lynch's little brother. The dragon. The dragon. The dragon. Hitting the ground. Burning flesh. Dying, Dying, Dying. Watching Prokopenko crash, a dream without a dreamer.
Now he was really shaking, hyperventilating- the whole deal. His father's eyes flashed in his minds eye. His birthname. The broken bottles. The yelling. The hands, the eyes, the name the bottles the yelling the hands the eyes the name the bottles the yelling the hands the eyes the name the bottles the yelling the hands the eyes the name the bottles the yelling the hands- pawsteps. He barely processed the noise through his heart screaming in his ears. He didn't bother looking up from staring blankly into space. K's whole body was trembling. He felt sick. Sick with himself, maybe. Sick of being so terrible, sick of it sick of it sick of it.
twxt
coded by junkers
Melting through the cracks in my hands
I guess I held on for too long
I'm done with your bittersweet tragedy
It's no fun when I'm sitting all alone
You're right in front of me
You speak sour lemonade to me
The bitter taste won't let me be
One, kiss, was supposed to be so sweet
But I found grapefruit in your teeth..
![[Image: BpnKZNK.gif]](https://i.imgur.com/BpnKZNK.gif)
[font=timesnewroman] [shadow=grey,left]I' M TIRED OF COMING HOME SICK ,
SOMEONE WILL CARE ABOUT THIS !
[shadow=grey,left]please, let somebody care about this ...
[spoiler=☆ change your mind, oh, change your mind ... ]
⌲ GENERAL
Full name: Joseph Asviah Kavinsky
(goes by Kavinsky or K, Joey if you're close)
Gender/Pronouns: Male, he/him
Age: 28
⌲ APPEARANCE
Kavinsky is a thin-framed man, standing at a rather unimpressive 5'6. His dark hair is typically slicked back and he usually has an unkept five-o-clock shadow about his face. His features are somewhat sallow, his skin pale and freckled. K's green eyes have a deceiving innocent look to them, like a photograph of a refugee child on the cover of a newspaper. Everything about him but his hollow gaze is sharp.
⌲ PERSONALITY
+| loyal / truthful / independent / witty
~| opinionated / confrontational
- | cold / selfish / impulsive / patronizing
⌲ PAST
Kavinsky grew up in Hoboken, New Jersey. The Blackout happened when K was 6, destroying his family's home and forcing them to flee New Jersey when looters started to break into the Kavinsky family's sizable mansion. His family included his older brother, mother and father. Valentin, his older brother, was a budding rapper. He was 15 years older than K, was often not home, playing gigs and doing small tours. His father was involved in the Bulgarian mafia and his mother was an addict. Both of his parents were completely neglectful, and his father was physically, emotionally and verbally abusive. Kavinsky had a small gaggle of friends at the time, none of which knew the extent of the abuse until K killed his father in self defense at 16. He was left to fend for his not-all-there mother and himself. She later died from withdrawals as her husband was the one who supplied her with the drugs she was so dependent on. Kavinsky now mostly keeps to himself, having lost contact with any of his friends secluding after his mother's death. He lives in an abandoned apartment building in town, scavenging and dealing whatever drugs and supplies he can find.
[/spoiler]
[align=center] nightkit was still naive to the world and a lot of the mysteries it has in store. he thought mortals were fantastic creatures with their beautiful freewill and creative minds that brought them thus far. watching as their plans unfold before their eyes and watching as they glow and shimmer when they realize their hard work meant something. be it for them or for someone else, whatever they did bettered someone's life. no one was born evil and instead discovered through many situations that it's instead nurtured with a grim touch, concealed behind what is thought to be something comparable to a father's hug or mother's milk. there were many corrupted souls out there and he knew he couldn't help everyone, but he could at least try and help those who have not yet fallen. he was no archangel or any of the angels considered middle class, but he is still an angel.
being on earth also had its perks. for example, he was able to run about and interact with everyone. the angels were nice to him and all, but it was the perfect paradise up there. it got boring after a while and it was hard to go on any adventures when it's always sunny. he did a hell of a lot of persuading to be down here, he wasn't about to allow himself to be bored. it's been a bit lonely since he joined bloodclan, but he's able to go on many adventures and meet a lot of people. what more could he possibly hope for?
trotting happily out of the doors and into the courtyard, the tom hummed softly as he chewed quietly on a piece of gum. what adventure will he decide to think up today? he already thought of a chimera chasing him, being abducted by aliens, the other angels showing up and him giving them a grand tour of the place and being the king of the world for a day. pressing his lips together, he glanced around for inspiration and grinned brightly when his eyes landed on kavinsky. pushing up his glasses, he began to prance over to him, bobbed tail wagging happily like a dog's. as he got closer, nightkit realized his body was trembling a panicked expression was plastered to his face. at first, he thought he was going to be attacked again by lynch, but when he was no where to be found, the child realized something else must be the matter.
shifting from a carefree prance to an urgent sprint, he skidded to a stop before him and almost choking on his gum in the process. "kav, you have to calm down. it's alright so please calm down. everything is okay so please relax." it would be a lie if nightkit said he wasn't growing scared. this was the first time he's ever come across a situation like this and to be honest, he wasn't sure if he was doing this properly. "please tell me what's wrong."
[div style="border:transparent;text-align:center;font-size:11px;line-height:13px;font-family:andale mono;margin-top:9px"]with a thousand lies ;; tags ;; and a good disguise
t
[table] |
text | KAVINSKY ;; bloodclan ;; he/him |
[/table]
Kavinsky's mind was racing over everything, everything his father had done, everything Proko's uncle had done, killing Proko's uncle, killing his dad, everything he'd done, killing Proko, bringing him back, killing Proko, bringing another Proko back, killing himself, dying, dying, dying. He felt like he might explode from all the guilt, the regret, the pain from the scars on his sides, the look Lynch had given him. He deserved all of it.
He was lost in his thoughts when the smaller kit spoke, and he didn't process it fully for a little.
K could feel his chest moving up and down and his heart beating. He could feel blood in his veins and the pebbles under his feet. He could hear Zeb's voice, the rocks crunching under his little pawsteps. K squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his head to try to get his head straight, to just think properly.
"I-I shouldn't be here." He choked out. "I'm not.. I'm.." His words faltered as he was hit with more memories, more emotional pain, more, more, more. "I'm not s-supposed to be here."
twxt
coded by junkers
Melting through the cracks in my hands
I guess I held on for too long
I'm done with your bittersweet tragedy
It's no fun when I'm sitting all alone
You're right in front of me
You speak sour lemonade to me
The bitter taste won't let me be
One, kiss, was supposed to be so sweet
But I found grapefruit in your teeth..
[font=timesnewroman] [shadow=grey,left]I' M TIRED OF COMING HOME SICK ,
SOMEONE WILL CARE ABOUT THIS !
[shadow=grey,left]please, let somebody care about this ...
[spoiler=☆ change your mind, oh, change your mind ... ]
⌲ GENERAL
Full name: Joseph Asviah Kavinsky
(goes by Kavinsky or K, Joey if you're close)
Gender/Pronouns: Male, he/him
Age: 28
⌲ APPEARANCE
Kavinsky is a thin-framed man, standing at a rather unimpressive 5'6. His dark hair is typically slicked back and he usually has an unkept five-o-clock shadow about his face. His features are somewhat sallow, his skin pale and freckled. K's green eyes have a deceiving innocent look to them, like a photograph of a refugee child on the cover of a newspaper. Everything about him but his hollow gaze is sharp.
⌲ PERSONALITY
+| loyal / truthful / independent / witty
~| opinionated / confrontational
- | cold / selfish / impulsive / patronizing
⌲ PAST
Kavinsky grew up in Hoboken, New Jersey. The Blackout happened when K was 6, destroying his family's home and forcing them to flee New Jersey when looters started to break into the Kavinsky family's sizable mansion. His family included his older brother, mother and father. Valentin, his older brother, was a budding rapper. He was 15 years older than K, was often not home, playing gigs and doing small tours. His father was involved in the Bulgarian mafia and his mother was an addict. Both of his parents were completely neglectful, and his father was physically, emotionally and verbally abusive. Kavinsky had a small gaggle of friends at the time, none of which knew the extent of the abuse until K killed his father in self defense at 16. He was left to fend for his not-all-there mother and himself. She later died from withdrawals as her husband was the one who supplied her with the drugs she was so dependent on. Kavinsky now mostly keeps to himself, having lost contact with any of his friends secluding after his mother's death. He lives in an abandoned apartment building in town, scavenging and dealing whatever drugs and supplies he can find.
[/spoiler]
[div style="width: 375px; font-family: arial; font-size: 12px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 0px; "]
Price was enjoying it here, that was for sure. Escaping his past had been the best choice he had ever made, but that didn't mean he was fully out of everything from that time. He still had horrid dreams, taking him to places he never wanted to see again but also bringing memories of individuals he missed dearly. He could probably talk to a medic at some point and get help - some sort of sleep-aid just to pull him through the nights. But no, he allowed himself to toss and turn just so he could see that face on occasion in his nightmares. Waking up nightly in a cold sweat, his breathing rough and heartbeat far above its resting pace.
Yeah, Price was no stranger to panic attacks. And yeah, he didn't exactly want to encounter someone else going through that, just for fear of how it might affect him. But.. this was kinda his job now, huh? To be supportive, or whatever? Yeah, it might be rough but this is what responsibility meant. Price padded his way over to Kav and Zeb, his ears rotated slightly back as the only indicator of his unease.
“Zeb, can you go fetch some water?†He asked the child softly, dipping his head down to be at an even eye line with the kid. He turned to Kav and his face crewed up for a second while he thought of what he could do, but his mind came up blank. Normally when he was like this, C- someone had been around to comfort him and he'd been too focused on himself to consider how they were helping him. Maybe if he just.. sat close to him? Yeah! That was worth a shot, right? He got himself as close to Kav as he could without actually like, pressing up against him, and began to mumble small "it's okay's"
[align=center] “speaking†["actions"]
[align=right] [div style="font-family:arial black;color:#11b18e; font-size:12pt;line-height:11px;"][b][i]THE HONEY WHISKEYS KICKIN
[b][i]GO DOWN GO DOWN GO DOWN
[align=center] nightkit stared up at him, forcing himself not to shake and tremble where he stood as he desperately tried to calm the canine down. it was hard to think when his thoughts were jumbled together. focusing became more of a burden and kavinsky's words began to slur with the blood thumbing in his ears. giving himself a shake, he blinked his eyes a few times before meowing. "w-what do you mean?" the child needed clarification. of course he was suppose to be here. everyone has a purpose; his birth wasn't a mistake nor was him stumbling upon bloodclan. "of course you're suppose-" he stopped when he noticed price from the corner of his eye, advancing towards them at a swift pace. feeling slightly relieved the deputy was here, the child watched as he bent down to his level and spoke to him. wanted to reject his request and stay with kavinsky, nighkit opened his mouth but abruptly closed it as sense overrode emotion. "r-right, o-okay." glancing at kavinsky one more time, he turned and dashed off to find some water only to return minutes later with a wide-mouth bowl. some of the water had splashed out of the bowl due to his unbalanced running, but there was still some left. placing it in front of kavinsky, he looked to both males. "i-i can go get more if need be."
[div style="border:transparent;text-align:center;font-size:11px;line-height:13px;font-family:andale mono;margin-top:9px"]with a thousand lies ;; tags ;; and a good disguise
t
[table] |
text | KAVINSKY ;; bloodclan ;; he/him |
[/table]
Kavinsky seemed to flinch away from the contact initally, but didnt move away after that. By the time Zebulon had come back, Kavinsky was leaning on Price. He barely registered the words that were reeling around him and reeling around inside his head.
He could process what the words were, but his half-dissociating mind couldnt comprehend the sentences, just the words individually. Flashes of memories went past his eyes- fireworks, fire, burnt ash. Destruction. All in his wake. All his fault. That kid back in 2012 during the fall party in September, laying burning on the ground because of a firework mishap. Kavinsky's fault. His younger brother, bullet between the eyes. Kavinsky's fault. His mother, laying still dying, a cocaine filled zombie, Kavinsky's fault.
"I-I.. I shouldn't be here." Kavinsky's voice was tiny and shaking. "I'm not.. I.." He tried to finish his thought from earlier but the words wouldn't come. He couldn't process what work went in which order.
twxt
coded by junkers
Melting through the cracks in my hands
I guess I held on for too long
I'm done with your bittersweet tragedy
It's no fun when I'm sitting all alone
You're right in front of me
You speak sour lemonade to me
The bitter taste won't let me be
One, kiss, was supposed to be so sweet
But I found grapefruit in your teeth..
[font=timesnewroman] [shadow=grey,left]I' M TIRED OF COMING HOME SICK ,
SOMEONE WILL CARE ABOUT THIS !
[shadow=grey,left]please, let somebody care about this ...
[spoiler=☆ change your mind, oh, change your mind ... ]
⌲ GENERAL
Full name: Joseph Asviah Kavinsky
(goes by Kavinsky or K, Joey if you're close)
Gender/Pronouns: Male, he/him
Age: 28
⌲ APPEARANCE
Kavinsky is a thin-framed man, standing at a rather unimpressive 5'6. His dark hair is typically slicked back and he usually has an unkept five-o-clock shadow about his face. His features are somewhat sallow, his skin pale and freckled. K's green eyes have a deceiving innocent look to them, like a photograph of a refugee child on the cover of a newspaper. Everything about him but his hollow gaze is sharp.
⌲ PERSONALITY
+| loyal / truthful / independent / witty
~| opinionated / confrontational
- | cold / selfish / impulsive / patronizing
⌲ PAST
Kavinsky grew up in Hoboken, New Jersey. The Blackout happened when K was 6, destroying his family's home and forcing them to flee New Jersey when looters started to break into the Kavinsky family's sizable mansion. His family included his older brother, mother and father. Valentin, his older brother, was a budding rapper. He was 15 years older than K, was often not home, playing gigs and doing small tours. His father was involved in the Bulgarian mafia and his mother was an addict. Both of his parents were completely neglectful, and his father was physically, emotionally and verbally abusive. Kavinsky had a small gaggle of friends at the time, none of which knew the extent of the abuse until K killed his father in self defense at 16. He was left to fend for his not-all-there mother and himself. She later died from withdrawals as her husband was the one who supplied her with the drugs she was so dependent on. Kavinsky now mostly keeps to himself, having lost contact with any of his friends secluding after his mother's death. He lives in an abandoned apartment building in town, scavenging and dealing whatever drugs and supplies he can find.
[/spoiler]
Price calmed down significantly when Kav leaned into him. He was meant to be calming the feline down, he knew, but given his current 'attempting-not-to-break-down' state, the pressure seemed to be helping them both in a symbiotic way.
Hey, Kav? Do you think you can drink some water? he asked softly, flashing Zeb with a grateful look as he tried to talk Kavinsky into drinking a bit. If you still need to calm down a bit more that's okay. The water will be waiting for you, he offered, draping a fluffy tail over the shaking male's back and hoping it would be comforting. Price's ears laid back when Kav spoke, denouncing himself as 'not belonging' in a broken sentence. "Kav, I understand feeling like you don't belong somewhere," he breathed out quietly, intending the phrase as only for the panicked feline's ears. "But you do belong here. You're important here," he finished the sentence, his tail flicking slightly over Kav's back as he spoke.
[ speaking ]["actions"]
[spoiler=tags UPDATED 04/08][justify]
GENERAL:
★ kevin price . goes by "price" . male
★ bisexual
★ 11 months | ages at roleplayer discretion
★ deputy | bloodclan
IMPORTANT THINGS:
★ hallucinates satan sometimes . nbd .
★ rlly likes donuts .
★ jesus called him a d*ck one time? could also have been a hallucination
RECENT EVENTS:
★ empty
★ empty
★ empty
PHYSICAL:
★DOMESTIC FELINE [main] | health: 100%
longhaired tuxedo. light blue eyes. something very lovable about his appearance. very handsome.
major injuries: n/a
minor injuries: n/a
PERSONALITY:
★ narcissistic but only a little .
★ used to be a prodigy but now hes just kinda normal. has lots of issues over this, mainly anxiety.
★ believes in himself !! so hard
★ is scared of being a failure
★ has some internalized homophobia. tried to suppress his gay thoughts
RELATIONSHIPS:
★ single . ½ [prominent ship] . crushing on _____
★ friends w/ ______
POWERS:
★ will
★ buy some
★ eventually
INTERACTION:
★ literally has 2 friends because he's n o t approachable
★ medium physically . medium mentally
★ powerplay on nonviolent/peaceful actions is okay !!
★ attack in #11b18e[/spoiler]
[align=right] [div style="font-family:arial black;color:#11b18e; font-size:12pt;line-height:11px;"][b][i]THE HONEY WHISKEYS KICKIN
[b][i]GO DOWN GO DOWN GO DOWN
t
[table] |
text | KAVINSKY ;; bloodclan ;; he/him |
[/table]
The word 'important' was like an arrow in his heart, sending feeling back into his paws. Thoughts back into his brain. A spot of rationality into his head.
He looked down at the water, taking a breath and carefully lowering himself to lap up a couple mouthfuls. After doing such, he sat back up, instinctually leaning back against Price.
"T-Thank you." He said quietly, trying to take deep breaths. "I-I appreciate it, I do, it's just.."
He sighed. "I.. I died. I got hit by fireworks, a-at a party, on purpose, and I.. I died." Kavinsky's voice shook. "Then I.. I woke up just outside the woods. I saw the gates, and.." He swallowed. "Lynch. He was human too. He was there. When I.. When I died, I mean." He didn't elaborate on how he'd kidnapped Lynch's younger brother beforehand, or how long he'd been in love with Ronan, or how long he'd wanted to just hold his hand... Kavinsky pushed those thoughts out of his mind. He noticed he'd started shaking again. As soon as those thought left his head Lynch's face when he'd growled a "fuck you" at him. The wolf's eyes were not ones that were kind. Kavinsky swallowed, heart pounding.
"And he attacked me when I showed up, that's why.." He gestured to the scars up his sides. "We had.. history. I guess. Bad history."
twxt
coded by junkers
Melting through the cracks in my hands
I guess I held on for too long
I'm done with your bittersweet tragedy
It's no fun when I'm sitting all alone
You're right in front of me
You speak sour lemonade to me
The bitter taste won't let me be
One, kiss, was supposed to be so sweet
But I found grapefruit in your teeth..
[font=timesnewroman] [shadow=grey,left]I' M TIRED OF COMING HOME SICK ,
SOMEONE WILL CARE ABOUT THIS !
[shadow=grey,left]please, let somebody care about this ...
[spoiler=☆ change your mind, oh, change your mind ... ]
⌲ GENERAL
Full name: Joseph Asviah Kavinsky
(goes by Kavinsky or K, Joey if you're close)
Gender/Pronouns: Male, he/him
Age: 28
⌲ APPEARANCE
Kavinsky is a thin-framed man, standing at a rather unimpressive 5'6. His dark hair is typically slicked back and he usually has an unkept five-o-clock shadow about his face. His features are somewhat sallow, his skin pale and freckled. K's green eyes have a deceiving innocent look to them, like a photograph of a refugee child on the cover of a newspaper. Everything about him but his hollow gaze is sharp.
⌲ PERSONALITY
+| loyal / truthful / independent / witty
~| opinionated / confrontational
- | cold / selfish / impulsive / patronizing
⌲ PAST
Kavinsky grew up in Hoboken, New Jersey. The Blackout happened when K was 6, destroying his family's home and forcing them to flee New Jersey when looters started to break into the Kavinsky family's sizable mansion. His family included his older brother, mother and father. Valentin, his older brother, was a budding rapper. He was 15 years older than K, was often not home, playing gigs and doing small tours. His father was involved in the Bulgarian mafia and his mother was an addict. Both of his parents were completely neglectful, and his father was physically, emotionally and verbally abusive. Kavinsky had a small gaggle of friends at the time, none of which knew the extent of the abuse until K killed his father in self defense at 16. He was left to fend for his not-all-there mother and himself. She later died from withdrawals as her husband was the one who supplied her with the drugs she was so dependent on. Kavinsky now mostly keeps to himself, having lost contact with any of his friends secluding after his mother's death. He lives in an abandoned apartment building in town, scavenging and dealing whatever drugs and supplies he can find.
[/spoiler]
|
