03-24-2017, 02:20 AM
(This post was last modified: 03-27-2017, 06:17 PM by CIRCUSCLOWN!.)
[align=center][div style="width: 450px;; text-align: justify"][size=9pt]Circusclown had been sort of recovering after his injury - not really, he had just been doing what he always did. Sleeping, drinking and eating. Even if he shouldn't be drinking, he was sure as hell going to despite it being the direct cause to his injury. He had sort of attached himself to it, despite how sick it made him and the trouble it caused. It wasn't worth the effort to try and stop, anyways. He had decided to take a walk for the first time since awhile, and luckily his stupid head wasn't hurting anymore. Trying to avoid walking between trees as best as he could, he'd eventually make his way to the border.
This was the place of the border he had joined Shadowclan. He's made a lot of positive memories in Shadowclan, though just like everywhere else he also made negative ones. Like trying to murder Miles and his unborn great great grandkits, getting drunk in front of Leo, and then unintentionally injuring himself in the most stupid way possible. His most positive memories were the ones with Cyrus, in his mind - he seemed entirely blind to the fact others cared about him. Even though Fare and Belladonna had been so worried for him, it seemed he was mostly trained on believing Cyrus was the only one who cared about him. In a way, it was hard to make him believe he was loved if not impossible.
Regardless of that, it wasn't really like he could cure it with a few friends and family - maybe it might make him feel better, but that was only a temporary comfort. Sometimes, things weren't fixable - and sometimes some people weren't either. His hurt couldn't be swept away by someone else, and it was something he had learned well. Even when he had Redlipstick and new kids, and even reunited with Littlepaw hadn't there always been an emptiness then as well? Every time he thought he had found a purpose, that was either ripped away from him or he found himself still not satisfied enough. And when he pondered on such thoughts, he always had to wonder whether he deserved it at all - if he couldn't even be grateful for what he had, then why should he have such a nice thing in his life? It was a question he wished he knew the answer to.
Growing distant like he often did as he stared at the sky, he realized he had walked a bit far from Shadowclan territory. Might as well keep going though. As he continued trotting, he eventually came across Thunderclan territory and his nose would wrinkle in distaste. His eye stared up curiously. How could he be so silly as to forget other clans existed? He wasn't the type to enjoy traveling the unknown - after all, who knows what danger could lurk there. He acted and seemed like some crude beast, though he was at heart a coward. He might be able to fight and attack someone, but when it came down to it he was just a tame little creature who could easily be overwhelmed. It was hard for him not to be scared when everything gives him a bad memories. Even trees could scare him shitless. Shaking those thoughts away, he'd turn to leave padding the opposite direction of Thunderclan territory.
[spoiler=tags]
general ; "drink up baby"
★ circusclown disharmony | nicknames are circ and clown, former names are breadstick, uglyclown and clown | male [ he/him ]
two years three months physically and mentally | born november 13th, 2014 | ages realtime
dawnchaser of shadowclan | former exiles leader and blizzardclan head combatant (feralfront)
discord disharmony x npc | generation 2 | head of disharmony family | only loyal to family
demisexual | panromantic | crush unknown | afraid of being in a relationship
has ptsd, alcoholism and depression | will have flashbacks or panic attacks if he: sees overwhelmingly fast moving yellow or cyan colors, him feeling or touching bark, hearing someone with a distorted voice, feeling any type of unexpected rough contact, and having limited moving space
appearance ; "stay up all night"
★ domestic cat | always scowling | always smells strongly of alcohol
he is a light brown feline who has a lot of fluffy fur that's often tangled up covered in dirt and dust, and it also feels very greasy and gross. his head is lacking of the light brown color, and is completely white. he has a scar on the left side of his face, which has a stitched up glasgow smile meeting up with the scar. the other side of his face shares a glasgow smile, which is also stitched together. he has only one eye left which is the right one, and it is a dull blue almost lifeless color that seems to be bagging all the time due to exhaustion. the side of his face which has no eye has stitches on the top of his eye, and his eyelid is often closed over the eye socket that's still there, though it can be open if he is surprised or scared by something. [ reference ].
personality ; "with the things you could do"
★ chaotic neutral | anti-hero | the cynic
 cynical, insensitive, pessimistic, crude, hostile, family-oriented, overprotective, unpredictable
with a quick look at circusclown, somebody would probably be able to quickly dismiss him due to him having common disinterest, distantness or unnecessary complaints about everything. he rarely has anything positive to say or do, and will come off as a very dull person who wants nothing more then for others to go away. he is very unpredictable and capricious in behavior, and can with ease be watching with a bored expression and the next be a violent creature someone should steer clear of. despite the unpredictable nature, he is quick to make a decision he won't regret - he is never unsure about his decisions, which only worsens his unpredictable behavior. he is extremely cynical and pessimistic, and has a continual feeling of mistrust and pessimistic thoughts of the outcome of every situation. he has a tendency to be very vulgar, constantly with gross behaviors like burping and swearing. he has a tendency to be very unfriendly or harsh to others, and he is rarely sensitive unless in a good mood or if he enjoys somebodies company. he is at heart however, a genuine and sweet person who just wants to have a large family, but feels it is impossible due to his self-destructive alcoholic behaviors and is simply frightened that he'd be taken advantage of if he was to.
interaction ; "you won't but you might"
★ hard physically | hard mentally | attack in #c68ee2
doesn't like unnecessary death or etc | will start fights | will fight back | will flee if family is protected | will not surrender
might capture if family is threatened | might torture if family is threatened | will kill if family is threatened
trained to fight | has little to no medical knowledge
air elementals  discovered  can't control properly - if something triggers him it will go off
power  un / discovered  control of power: 000%
ALL OPINIONS ARE IC[/spoiler]
This was the place of the border he had joined Shadowclan. He's made a lot of positive memories in Shadowclan, though just like everywhere else he also made negative ones. Like trying to murder Miles and his unborn great great grandkits, getting drunk in front of Leo, and then unintentionally injuring himself in the most stupid way possible. His most positive memories were the ones with Cyrus, in his mind - he seemed entirely blind to the fact others cared about him. Even though Fare and Belladonna had been so worried for him, it seemed he was mostly trained on believing Cyrus was the only one who cared about him. In a way, it was hard to make him believe he was loved if not impossible.
Regardless of that, it wasn't really like he could cure it with a few friends and family - maybe it might make him feel better, but that was only a temporary comfort. Sometimes, things weren't fixable - and sometimes some people weren't either. His hurt couldn't be swept away by someone else, and it was something he had learned well. Even when he had Redlipstick and new kids, and even reunited with Littlepaw hadn't there always been an emptiness then as well? Every time he thought he had found a purpose, that was either ripped away from him or he found himself still not satisfied enough. And when he pondered on such thoughts, he always had to wonder whether he deserved it at all - if he couldn't even be grateful for what he had, then why should he have such a nice thing in his life? It was a question he wished he knew the answer to.
Growing distant like he often did as he stared at the sky, he realized he had walked a bit far from Shadowclan territory. Might as well keep going though. As he continued trotting, he eventually came across Thunderclan territory and his nose would wrinkle in distaste. His eye stared up curiously. How could he be so silly as to forget other clans existed? He wasn't the type to enjoy traveling the unknown - after all, who knows what danger could lurk there. He acted and seemed like some crude beast, though he was at heart a coward. He might be able to fight and attack someone, but when it came down to it he was just a tame little creature who could easily be overwhelmed. It was hard for him not to be scared when everything gives him a bad memories. Even trees could scare him shitless. Shaking those thoughts away, he'd turn to leave padding the opposite direction of Thunderclan territory.
[spoiler=tags]
general ; "drink up baby"
★ circusclown disharmony | nicknames are circ and clown, former names are breadstick, uglyclown and clown | male [ he/him ]
two years three months physically and mentally | born november 13th, 2014 | ages realtime
dawnchaser of shadowclan | former exiles leader and blizzardclan head combatant (feralfront)
discord disharmony x npc | generation 2 | head of disharmony family | only loyal to family
demisexual | panromantic | crush unknown | afraid of being in a relationship
has ptsd, alcoholism and depression | will have flashbacks or panic attacks if he: sees overwhelmingly fast moving yellow or cyan colors, him feeling or touching bark, hearing someone with a distorted voice, feeling any type of unexpected rough contact, and having limited moving space
appearance ; "stay up all night"
★ domestic cat | always scowling | always smells strongly of alcohol
he is a light brown feline who has a lot of fluffy fur that's often tangled up covered in dirt and dust, and it also feels very greasy and gross. his head is lacking of the light brown color, and is completely white. he has a scar on the left side of his face, which has a stitched up glasgow smile meeting up with the scar. the other side of his face shares a glasgow smile, which is also stitched together. he has only one eye left which is the right one, and it is a dull blue almost lifeless color that seems to be bagging all the time due to exhaustion. the side of his face which has no eye has stitches on the top of his eye, and his eyelid is often closed over the eye socket that's still there, though it can be open if he is surprised or scared by something. [ reference ].
personality ; "with the things you could do"
★ chaotic neutral | anti-hero | the cynic
 cynical, insensitive, pessimistic, crude, hostile, family-oriented, overprotective, unpredictable
with a quick look at circusclown, somebody would probably be able to quickly dismiss him due to him having common disinterest, distantness or unnecessary complaints about everything. he rarely has anything positive to say or do, and will come off as a very dull person who wants nothing more then for others to go away. he is very unpredictable and capricious in behavior, and can with ease be watching with a bored expression and the next be a violent creature someone should steer clear of. despite the unpredictable nature, he is quick to make a decision he won't regret - he is never unsure about his decisions, which only worsens his unpredictable behavior. he is extremely cynical and pessimistic, and has a continual feeling of mistrust and pessimistic thoughts of the outcome of every situation. he has a tendency to be very vulgar, constantly with gross behaviors like burping and swearing. he has a tendency to be very unfriendly or harsh to others, and he is rarely sensitive unless in a good mood or if he enjoys somebodies company. he is at heart however, a genuine and sweet person who just wants to have a large family, but feels it is impossible due to his self-destructive alcoholic behaviors and is simply frightened that he'd be taken advantage of if he was to.
interaction ; "you won't but you might"
★ hard physically | hard mentally | attack in #c68ee2
doesn't like unnecessary death or etc | will start fights | will fight back | will flee if family is protected | will not surrender
might capture if family is threatened | might torture if family is threatened | will kill if family is threatened
trained to fight | has little to no medical knowledge
air elementals  discovered  can't control properly - if something triggers him it will go off
power  un / discovered  control of power: 000%
ALL OPINIONS ARE IC[/spoiler]
[align=center]
oh who would ever want to be king