YOU SAID YOU WERE HAPPY BEING SOMEONE | dump

YOU SAID YOU WERE HAPPY BEING SOMEONE | dump - Printable Version

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YOU SAID YOU WERE HAPPY BEING SOMEONE | dump - sovay - 12-19-2017

feel free to post, idc

Re: YOU SAID YOU WERE HAPPY BEING SOMEONE | dump - sovay - 12-19-2017

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I'VE BEEN IN HERE TOO LONG, DWELLING ON LINES IN OTHER PEOPLE'S SONG, SAYING "YES, THIS IS ME, YOUR LYRICS BREAK THROUGH" BUT I DON'T DESERVE THE LINES I RELATE TO --------------------------- ★

Re: YOU SAID YOU WERE HAPPY BEING SOMEONE | dump - sovay - 12-19-2017

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[color=#FF787F][b]IT'S ALL DOWN HERE, HONEY DON'T BE SCARED, I'M READY TO BE HAPPY WHEN I CLOSE MY EYES, I CAN SEE YOUR FACE, I WANNA KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU WE COULD GRAB OUR LIVES AND RUN AWAY, HAPPINESS WILL RUIN THIS PLACE ------------- ★

[color=#ADBD24]aaron | he/him | Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â½ faidae | hopelessly in love

oof oof ouch

Re: YOU SAID YOU WERE HAPPY BEING SOMEONE | dump - sovay - 12-19-2017

babyface --

vitiligo ?
nd ,?
bipolar w/ psychotic features (like me!)
they/them, gender whom? sex whom? (maybe intersex?)
speaks in plural (we like cake, we are babyface, etc)
heavily traumatized
clueless about the world around them
doesn't understand romance, but likes girls
adores glitter. holy shit. gl itter
religious delusions
looks super scary, is actually a puppy
likes animals, yet they always seem to end up dead around baby
big conspiracy theorist
age regresses due to trauma
bad cptsd
bad personal hygiene
doesn't understand social cues
is a slut for romance, even if they don't understand it
needs a hug tbh
i love them
sobs

Re: YOU SAID YOU WERE HAPPY BEING SOMEONE | dump - sovay - 12-19-2017

i love you -- woodkid
either margaux or wren

Re: YOU SAID YOU WERE HAPPY BEING SOMEONE | dump - sovay - 12-19-2017

[spoiler=loss.jpg]It made me sick to even look at him.

The things I knew he did made me want to crawl out of my skin. And to think, he called me his sister.

His back was pressed against the door, his gaze cast to the floor. He took a long drag on his cigarette, the silence hanging between us like a noose.

"You can't stop me from leaving." I said, venom in my tone. He swallowed hard and took the cigarette out of his mouth.

"I know," he said, voice weak. Perhaps once, hearing the emotion that dripped from his words would've made me hesitate. But not now. Now, it just made me even angrier. He didn't really believe the shit he spewed about being a good person, did he? The people he murdered, the lives he took for fun. He killed my mother, for God's sake! And here he stood, pathetic and weepy. What a fucking monster.

I set off towards the door, expecting him to move. When he didn't, I bared my teeth and let out a guttural snarl, muscles twitching. The shift was coming, but this time I didn't fight back.

In a flash, I was me -- the real me. Gore and fangs and claws. Who I was supposed to be. I towered over him now, and could crush his skull in the flick of a wrist. I half expected him to change, too, but he just stood there.

"Mar, hear me out. Please." He said quietly, avoiding eye contact.

"I don't owe you anything." I spat, voice gravelly and menacing. He didn't even flinch.

"I know you don't. Just, please, listen." I stood in silence, but didn't move. For whatever reason, I decided to hear his pathetic sob story.

"I don't know what you think I did, but that wasn't me. She's lying to you, Mar, she's--" he didn't get to finish before I scored my claws across his chest, blood oozing from the wounds. He let out a yelp, however, he did nothing to protect himself.

"Please don't leave me. You-You're all I have. We can talk this through, Blue, we can..." He burst into sobs, the rest of his speech incomprehensible.

"Don't call me that." I snapped. He finally brought his eyes up to my own, dewy with tears that streamed down his face. He reached a hand towards me, but reconsidered. Which was good for him, because I would've bitten it off. He took in a shaky breath.

"You can kill me if you want. I deserve it. I'm the worst brother; you deserved so much better." He stretched his neck out, revealing his throat. "Just know... Just know I have always loved you, and I always will." He closed his eyes tight, more tears fountaining.

I wrapped my hand around his throat and picked him off the ground, bringing his face close to mine so he could look me in the eyes while I squeezed the air out of him.

"You will never be my brother." And with that, I threw him against the wall and walked out.[/spoiler]

[spoiler=drug use warning] We grew up in a world where physical pain reigned supreme over emotional pain. We grew up knowing that if we were sad, we got hit and were told to "grow up", but if we broke our wrist, we got kissed and told it would be better. Maybe being upset wasn't real enough; maybe they wanted cold, hard, actual suffering. Or maybe parents didn't want to know they were tormenting their children.

"I'm doing this because I love you." Love doesn't equal abuse. "You knew better." I'm a child. "I'm sorry." Then why did you do it again?

Now I'm crying. I can't help it. Mathias is asleep, curled around me, his eyes puffy. I weep big, ugly tears. Why am I crying? I was just a kid. I'm still a kid. My childhood was taken out from under me, and I was forced to grow up too fast.

Life was like a game. Every time you cry, take a pill. Every time it hurts, take another. Take more and more until you can't feel. Take one every time someone says they're worried about you. Life is just one big pill-popping game.

By this time you're so numb to the world around you, you don't even recognize your brother's body curled against you as not your own. You don't care, either. You simply find yourself drifting into unconsciousness and let the medicine take effect.[/spoiler]

Re: YOU SAID YOU WERE HAPPY BEING SOMEONE | dump - sovay - 12-20-2017

[Image: love_struck_by_clwns-dbx9gy4.png]

for my bo y

Re: YOU SAID YOU WERE HAPPY BEING SOMEONE | dump - sovay - 12-20-2017

[Image: two_sinking_bodies_by_clwns-dbxb6jl.png]

babybaby

Re: YOU SAID YOU WERE HAPPY BEING SOMEONE | dump - sovay - 12-23-2017

GAY IDEAS FOR ROOK

memory book
- special dates + events
- photos + drawings
- future plans
deck of cards
- 52 reasons to love him
stuffed animal
- tiger
- make it special
writing
- letters
- poems
- stories
'mix tape' (cd)
- outline lyrics that are special + why they're important
food
- cookies + brownies
- candy (?)
- jar cake ingredients
bath basket
- make handmade scrubs, soaps, etc
'self help' basket
- journal
- affirmations
- small letters
- blanket
- art supplies
- crayons, coloring books, etc
- puzzle books/hobby supplies
- notecards with jokes, feelings, quotes (meaningful distractions)

Re: YOU SAID YOU WERE HAPPY BEING SOMEONE | dump - sovay - 12-26-2017

GAY PLAYLIST WIP

i wanna boi -- pwr bttm
if only you knew -- an atlas to follow
lazy -- margot & the nuclear so and so's (tell me more about evil edition)
arms tonite -- mother mother
belong -- san fermin
ur football player -- snckpck
can't help falling in love -- hayley reinhart
when boy meets boy -- matt fishel
the predatory wasps of the palisades is out to get us! -- sufjan stephens
son of a preacher man -- tom goss
him -- sam smith
puppy love -- this wild life
boy -- willow