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+----- Thread: and they go, i hate to say i told you so - writing (/showthread.php?tid=2017)
Re: and they go, i hate to say i told you so - writing - crows - 09-25-2017
hold me u leg
we'll figure it out my dude i promise
Re: and they go, i hate to say i told you so - writing - Legends - 09-25-2017
holds crows
hold me u crow
i hope so
Re: and they go, i hate to say i told you so - writing - Legends - 09-26-2017
[align=center][div style="0px; width:400px; height:auto; text-align: justify; font-size: 8pt; line-height:13px;"]journal entry no.5.3 / i am surrouned by idiots
okay so let's start this off with the WhiteBoyâ„¢ in my ap combined class today that decided to give his unwanted opinion. so i was minding my own business trying to not die, and the girl sitting little ways away from me was like (to the boy) "did you hear about the nfl thing over the weekend?" and i automatically paid more attention. so this walking jar of mayonnaise began running his mouth and all i caught was "i think they could've gone about it a different way" and i almost threw myself over the table. i lightly slammed my upper body over my desk so i could face him and begin my verbal assault. I just barely got the words "well what are they supposed to do?" out but then Kay stopped me from saying anything, but she knew yelling at them only makes things worse so i didn't get to. i sulked in my anger for the next 25 minutes. that was my morning and things have only gotten worse.
( but! this morning i gave Cas swetish fish because yesterday i told him i would. we talked yesterday before orchestra started so i'm already fulfilling my goal of talking to him more, so we'll see how that goes )
now emotionally, i'm not doing super well. i'm really numb. like i sat in relatively vocal and mental silence for most of the day. i haven't said much of anything but i haven't thought much of anything either. i'm just existing here in perpetual lingo. i just look through instagram or the snapchat official stories and do nothing else. it's very weird to feel disconnected from the social atmosphere and conversation when in fact you are right there. my emotions are just at a stand still.
a lot of it is violin. i'm overwhelmed. like i'm not freaking out because i can't. i don't have the mental energy too. the performance is next saturday and i feel like i don't know any of the pieces. and the demise of my reputation or the berating of my self-esteem by my violin teacher isn't even enough motivation for me. i have to get the pieces memorized, i know i do but i just keep not doing it. ugh. i have to get it done.
i have a psych test tomorrow that i have not studied for but i've got a quizlet picked out that i've started. i'm going to send crows more things on tumblr until she and i are okay. it's going to be okay. i'm going to be okay.
Re: and they go, i hate to say i told you so - writing - Legends - 09-29-2017
[align=center][div style="0px; width:400px; height:auto; text-align: justify; font-size: 8pt; line-height:13px;"]journal entry no.5.4 / uGH
whoop whoop we dop i feel terrible
yesterday night was my school's lip synch and it was amazing. some of the performances were phenomenal. i loved it. there was a guy duo that did Time Of My Life and man. they were amazing and perfect. the group that one had my friend in it and he was awesome. like wow. another group did Hammer Time but they came out in tutus and acted like the beginning was a ballet and then ripped off the tuts and were wearing golden ‘m.c. hammer’ pants. they were awesome too. this one group did Bad and the girl playing MJ was such a good dancer. i was blown away. oh! and this group of girls did Formation and oh my god. it was the most beautiful thing in the world they did it so well. man. sometimes (a lot of the time) my school is pretty cool.
this is the second time i’ve started a depressing entry with something positive, and i’m not sure if it’s doing much good. I think maybe i should end with the positive bit and maybe i wouldn’t feel like shit? eh. well, half of why i feel like shit is because of the battle but it’s basically because i wasn’t in it and everyone up there was having so much fun and everything looked so much fun just to be apart of it and i wasn’t which is fine but it contributed to my shit feelings.
I felt like shit a lot yesterday. I wore shorts and i felt cute and my friend said i looked really cute but i go back and forth about that. like i used to wear shorts and skirts a lot but since last year around april/may sort of, i just felt really uncomfortable with the idea of shorts especially and over the summer i bought like four pairs of cute shorts and i’ve worn ¾ of them but like, if i have to go out i prefer not and it’s bothering me that i’m not confident enough in them. uGH. But anyway, that put me in a shit mood and i was really bloated when i got home so i took and shower and kinda just wanted to cry because of it (also because of the lip synch thing) and i just, man, i’ve been feeling like shit.
today i feel better. I got a letter back from my pen pal so that’s good. she recommended me a song so i gotta go listen to it. plus i have a birthday party this weekend that is supposed to be good so there’s that. and i have therapy today so me and my therapist can hash out my other shit.
it’s been a good week in general but it has also sucked. like i’ve had a pretty light homework load but man, my feelings have been everywhere. like in the previous entry i wrote about feeling left out of the social atmosphere when really you’re sitting with a group who is having an engaging conversation and that really makes sense. like i’ve felt that way All Week. I keep feeling like everytime i open my mouth i’m not adding anything at all. uGH. I’m just. tired. of all of this and i don’t know what to do to fix this besides wait for it to get better. everything is going to be okay. I’ll be okay. autumn is coming.
Re: and they go, i hate to say i told you so - writing - Legends - 09-30-2017
[align=center][div style="0px; width:400px; height:auto; text-align: justify; font-size: 8pt; line-height:13px;"]11:19PM / from during pre cal
Can someone please tell me that i might be fine
That maybe all this depression might not be mine
Trust me i know that i’m not alone
But trust me no one’s been able to get me out of these bones
I keep hearing the crow sing
And how much the pixel words of comfort ring
She says “not todayâ€ÂÂ
I hear her, she says “we’ll be okayâ€ÂÂ
I sit alone inside a big group
Their conversation playing on loop
I’m right in the circle surround by friends
But every thought or word from me is a dead end
I can’t keep writing these things all nice
I’ve only started with something positive twice
Will i ever seem to find content
Will i ever get the depression off my scent
It comes and it goes you must understand
This week it has just been incredibly close at hand
It’s weird the way these things work out
Trying to navigate it is walking a blackout
Hopefully I’ll write something better next
Maybe two blondes and their new york hexs
Possibly a story deep in the trees
Or a maybe a journal entry is all that will be
Re: and they go, i hate to say i told you so - writing - crows - 09-30-2017
leg you're such a darn good poet
ur gonna be alright in the end just like that weezer album ok
Re: and they go, i hate to say i told you so - writing - Legends - 10-01-2017
[align=center][div style="0px; width:400px; height:auto; text-align: justify; font-size: 8pt; line-height:13px;"]autumn in yew york / morra and sybil, i'm trying my best
6:34AM, friday, october 6th
you know, a normal day for morra wouldn't entail being up at 6:34 AM on a friday morning, but this morning started out different than most other mornings. morra had come home late thursday from taking an extra shift at barns and nobel, as she was attempting to save up for a christmas present for sybil. morra had found a vintage and hopefully authentic collection of edgar allen poe poems as well as a set of mary shelly books, which morra was sure sybil would enjoy. the only downside to this was that, as the poe collection was authentically old, it was also authentically expensive, but morra was determined. so she kept working extra shifts and work, only once or twice a week but it was definitely enough for her to come home and crash.
as it was october, the whitney-godfrey abode was decorated incredibly well, covered in candles and blanketed soft browns. most of morra's plants had been moved away from the chilly windows to the softly painted walls of her bedroom or the living room. any flower arrangement that had been there over the summer was gone and replaced with an assembly of twigs and cattail branches, a seasonal bouquet morra often picked up from the florist six blocks down.
the small home felt like a den in all the warmth it bought for it's two inhabitants. speaking of which, morra rolled out of her bed and proceeded to get dressed and do her makeup. today eas friday, and then she'd been free from work for the weekend and ready to drink coffee in a mountain of blankets.
7:45AM
stepping off her train, morra made her way to the barns and nobel building that employed her. the towering brick book safe haven was always waiting for her return to it's shelves. morra loved her job, as much as one could working in retail. the shelves were always organized and stocked, 9/10 of her customers were consistently satisfied with her performance as an employee and if the store didn't have it, morra would personally order it for the client. she was approachable and kind and boy did the staff enjoy her music taste. the opening was 9AM but the store had just gotten a new shipment so today was unboxing day.
6:30PM
morra had been against taking the second shift today, as it was friday and she wanted to get home. if she was fast enough, she and sybil could go see a movie. morra was hoping to see IT was it was the only horror-ish film she was exactly excited for.
7:35PM
she wasn't fast enough. unlocking the door to their apartment, morra took off her coat and hung it on one of the pegs by the door. sybil had a record playing, but morra, in her own thoughts about dinner, was too preoccupied to pick out the artist. but, as the short haired blonde moved to the kitchen so saw a sight to behold. sybil. cooking dinner. and there was no mess so far. "alright chef gofrey what's on the menu?" she asked, already feeling her stomach growling at the thought of dinner. it had been a long day. "italian." sybil said with a smile as she was suing a wooden spoon to stir a boiling bowl of what morra assumed was pasta. "so no IT tonight?" morra replied, already taking out some forks and bowls. "nope. it's friday and you know what that means," sybil started returning to her pasta. "midnight confessions!" morra finished, realizing that indeed stephen colbert's annual friday night confessional was going to interrupt this evening's plans. "also, i think it's the season finale of "les épines de la vie se sont levées" sybil added at the end. les épines de la vie se sont levées (or the thorns of life’s rose) was the french 2AM soap opera the girls were obsessed with, sybil a bit more than morra, as sybil could understand more french than her blonde counterpart could. "well then i guess were staying in. i'll call ross and bernadette for our usual froday night order" morra said, and picked up her phone.
2:32AM
morra fell asleep the couch around 1:45. sybil left her draped with a foux fur blanket at 2:30, after the soap opera was over. morra would ask her the next day about what she missed, and knowing les épines de la vie se sont levée it was likely a lot.
Re: and they go, i hate to say i told you so - writing - Legends - 10-01-2017
[align=center][div style="0px; width:400px; height:auto; text-align: justify; font-size: 8pt; line-height:13px;"]How Sad This Is / i thought of this on the way home from a birthday party yesterday
"Did i ever tell you the story of the starboy that fell in love with the earth girl?"
the answer given was, no but in all actuality, this story had been told lots of times.
"Well one night a boy from the stars crashed in the desert...
will hopefully finish later, i have homework right now
Re: and they go, i hate to say i told you so - writing - crows - 10-01-2017
wow youre boutta make me cry twice in one day how dare you
also its halloween its danley's best time in the year
Re: and they go, i hate to say i told you so - writing - Legends - 10-18-2017
[align=center][div style="0px; width:400px; height:auto; text-align: justify; font-size: 8pt; line-height:13px;"]characters i relate to / i got bored ? and also i'm v lonely rn
kat stratford (10 things i hate about you) - called "frigid bitch" because of her opinions, hates conventionality, thinks dating/high school boys are dumb, lives in the 90s, plays loud music, mocks her sister for trying to fit in, wants to go to college in the northeast, feminist, has an older car, loves poetry
weiss schnee (rwby) - opinionated, annoying when you first meet her, underrated, really does care about her friends, lonely, feels left out
dipper pines (gravity falls) - conspiracy theories, intimidated by teenagers, builds up situations in his head, misjudged, curious, part of a brother-sister duo, not taken seriously
bolin (the legend of korra) - underrated, overlooked, rejected, copes with humor, round face, green
merida (brave) - brave, long curly hair, independent, fights with her mom but they love each other and move past it
chihiro (spirited away) - stressed, handles things as they come to her, strong, sad because of change, likes flowers
hiyori iki (noragami) - wants to help, long brown hair, gets excited, can't handle awkward situations, loves yato, not good with teenage boys, lonely, cute
sam winchester (supernatural) - "the other one", cautious, caring, speaks his mind, emotional, not loved by his dad as much as dean was, wanted to be a lawyer, cares for his brother, nerd